Monday 3 September 2018

Blogging, Anxiety, Hockey and Tattoos



It's been an awful long time since I've even typed a word on this blog. Like, a LONG time. Then I noticed that my payment had been taken to renew the domain name so I thought perhaps I should look into it again. I'll be honest, I haven't even looked at my blog in a year or so.
Reviewing beauty products isn't exactly my thing anymore. I used to live for cosmetics, but now? I can take it or leave it. I don't need to have the latest 'in' thing or but items from every single damn MAC collection that comes out every month.
I see now that I don't need those things and I believe I've found my daily 'face routine' that works for me. I like the products and don't really feel the need to search for the holy grail anymore.

My life is much more centred around ice hockey now. I am so thankful that I found the sport. I have met so many wonderful people through it and am thankful for all of them. I suffer from anxiety and struggle to make friends because of it. Ice hockey makes things easier. You're all there for the same reason, to support your team. You have an instant start point to break the ice. I'm still pretty sure that to some I come off as 'snobby' because I don't speak first or whatever, but in reality it's my anxiety stopping me every single time. Even if I want to talk to someone, I will never start a conversation because of a fear they won't want to talk back. Silly I know, but it's how my head works.

I've also discovered tattoos since I posted here last. Sounds like a silly thing to say, but I got my first tattoo this year and I think I've got the bug. My first tattoo was hockey related - a Washington Capitals logo on my wrist area. I got it midway through the run the Caps had on their way to the Stanley Cup. I held off getting a tattoo for so long. I had it in my head that if I got one I'd hate in when I got older, but that feeling never went away. Fifteen years later and I still had the urge to get a tattoo so I just thought 'fuck it' and went for it. The pain wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, in fact I actually like it. It wasn't long before I got my second, a chibi version of Connor from the game Detroit: Become Human, a game that even though it only came out this year has really moved me. It takes an awfully good game for me to complete it and this game is the best I have ever played. I have seen people slagging it off online, but at the end of the day, I don't give a fuck. It's my body and it's so beautifully done that I know I will always adore it.
Then I got the Pokemon Sylveon and Glaceon on my outer forearm and oh my word, I love them. They are super cute and the colours are so vibrant. It took 7 hours in one sitting but so worth it.
My Connor and my Pokemon pieces were done by Hannah Eaton from Tenacious Tattoo in Sheffield btw.
Then I got a lil tiny CM Punk logo inbetween them. I wanted to honour a man who kept my interest in wrestling alive. A man who brought a tiny bit of the Attitude era back into the PG era. When he left the industry, so did my love of wrestling. No, Punk, I will not keep buying the collector cups that your face is not on. My love of wrestling left with you. This piece was by Steph at Holy Ghost Collective in Rotherham.

I'm planning another couple of pieces in the upcoming months. More Eeveelutions and perhaps something else to fill the gap between my pieces by Hannah. I'm popping in next Wednesday for her to take a look to see what she could do.

So what does that mean for this blog? Well, it'll probably have different content on it if I decide to continue it. Prepare for nerdy things and lots of them. Prepare for ice hockey and lots of it. Prepare for something that's more 'me'.